Our popular media constantly bombards us with the same message. Get food fast. You can buy anything with a phone call and have it delivered to your doorstep in a few hours time. Make millions of dollars every year working only a couple of hours every day. Solve your relationship problems with a phone call to Dr. Phil. Lose all the extra pounds by working out 5 minutes every day. The best weight loss pills promise that you will rid of 10s of pounds in the first week and then some.

People transfer this need for a quick result to their fitness efforts. They buy a gym membership and start working out thinking that they will go from overweight to magazine model in just a couple of weeks. When they realize that it actually takes years of continuous training and proper diet to achieve such a result, they become disappointed and they give up. They turn to the next miracle pill to save the day (which it never does.)

In conclusion, people need to “get real”. Turn off your TV and stop buying the sleazy magazines. Realize that to achieve an important goal in life takes time and effort. Now get back to the gym and start lifting those dumb bells.

The truth is that a magic diet pill that melts fat away does not exist. Moreover, most diet pills in the market today are practically useless. The only weight loss pills that had any effect were those with an Ephedrine, Caffeine, and Aspirin (ECA) mix. These pills were outlawed a few years ago because some people abused them and ended up dieing of heart problems.

The ECA stack is making a comeback, however, in the Ephburn 25 diet supplement from AE Labs. Each serving will provide you with 25mg of Ephedra/Ma Huang extract along with the other two ingredients Caffeine and Aspirin in the proper percentage for maximum weight loss. The Ephedrine-free supplements that were developed after the ECA ban were never anywhere near as good as the original ECA on helping people lose weight. Ephburn 25 promises to bring back the good old days.

You still have to exercise and eat properly when using this supplement. More importantly, it is a good idea not to abuse it and talk with a doctor before starting on it. In addition, only use it for a short-term weight loss program as prolonged usage can have some nasty side effects; I mean, what is the point of looking great if you are dead. Like the ancient Greeks used to say, “Everything in moderation.”

So how does alli work? Well, essentially, the pill prevents your body from absorbing the fat in the food you eat. So, the amount of calories from food that your body consumes is reduced. The end result is lower calorie intake and hence automatic weight loss.

Except for a couple of problems one of which is the most hilarious side effect for a drug that I have ever come across.

The first problem is that taking the pill by itself will not have a huge effect on your weight unless it is accompanied by a strict low fat diet. In other words, alli will help you lose weight but it won’t lose the weight for you. Kind of the same way that exercising will help you lose weight but you have to do more than just buying a membership for the local gym keeping your card in your wallet but never stepping a foot in it. And if you don’t believe me, this is what the manufacturer says about the alli diet plan on their own website,

“If you are ready to take responsibility, alli and your hard work can help increase your weight loss by 50%. That means if you could lose 10 pounds with dieting alone, you could lose 15 pounds working with alli…The alli program requires a commitment to healthy eating habits.“

Okay, so we now have established that alli is not a miracle pill that will allow you to live your life on the couch eating potato chips and getting thinner. So, what is alli’s second and rather hilarious problem?

It has to do with one of alli’s side effects. Taking this pill will make you literally shit your pants! And this is not just any kind of shit. It is oil, i.e., the same fat that the pill will not allow your body to absorb will end up coming out your behind. I mean, it has to go somewhere and if it enters your mouth then gravity will make sure it exits from your ass.

The worst thing about shitting oil is that it can happen unexpectedly and there is nothing you can do to avoid it! In fact, the manufacturer cautions alli users,

You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.

And for good measure take a note of the following,

You may not usually get gassy, but it’s a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens.

In other words, the benefit from taking this pill is not going to be in its advertised medical abilities to block fat but from its ability to scare the shit out of you from eating fat in the first place. Unless of course you want to live the rest of your life in your bathroom shitting.