What I learned by watching movies

Posted on March 13, 2009
Filed Under Humor | Leave a Comment

I love going to the movies. Most people do. I watch just about everything good or bad. I know it sounds crazy but I am a true movie aficionado and I don’t mind spending a bit of money to watch a bad movie; if anything, it gives me something to make fun of the next day at work. At any rate, over the years, I learned a lot of things about how the world works only from watching movies. Here is a list which I don’t claim it to be comprehensive:

At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override the communications system of any invading alien society.
It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts–your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.
Radiation cause interesting mutations–not to your future children, but to you, right then and there.
If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.
Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.
Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.
It’s easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. No one will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building you want without difficulty.
You’re very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will wince when a woman tries to clean his wounds.
If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
Word processors never display a cursor on screen but will always say: Enter Password Now.
Any person waking from a nightmare will bolt upright and pant.
All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they’re going to go off.
A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.
If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.
When they are alone, all foreigners prefer to speak English to each other.
An electric fence, powerful enough to kill a dinosaur will cause no lasting damage to an eight-year-old child.