Creative email Spam

Posted on October 23, 2007
Filed Under Humor |

Email spam is as old as the Internet itself; okay, maybe not as old but it has been around since the network became available to the general public. Spam filters are better than ever and even though some messages always make it through to our Inboxes, most don’t. Every now and then, I glance in my Spam folder to check if any legit email were incorrectly classified and placed there; such event is a rare occasion these days but the fear of losing an important business email to poor software is always present. At any rate, I was doing this earlier today and I noticed all the creative headlines for email messages trying to entice me to purchase penis enlargement products. I thought I put together a small collection of some of the most hilarious of these emails.

One has the subject, “Make your penis bigger and feel the difference.“ They are really serious about how large the difference will be because in the body of the message, among other things, the authors claim, “Your dick will be leader of the world!” Well, I guess if I can’t be leader of the world then at least let my penis be.

Another begins with “You’ll be surprised with your bigger penis.“ In fact, the author claims that it will be so large that “Women will go mad!” and “Friends will be jealous!” This is great since I often get together with friends to compare sizes. Whose the boss now, Bruno!

The next one promises more control over the final size with the headline “Choose your size with Megadik!“ Apparently, this Megadik product will finally make me the man I wish to be, “Like a real man with a real penis! Discover MegaDik and enjoy your new size!”

Most penis enlargement related spam seems to promote this miracle Megadik product. This is not surprising if one believes the next headline which declares emphatically, “Ordinary men have ordinary sex. Megadik will make you an outstanding lover!“ Women will worship you for your massive member and as the author claims, “Soon you’ll be the only one girls will hunt for! Megadik is your magic weapon!“ Must be Harry Potter’s magic weapon too ’cause how else can anyone explain his popularity?

I can go on forever with similar messages making outrageous claims about penis enlargement products. What really surprises me about all this Spam is that it never stops. In fact, it seems to increase at an exponential rate. So, one wonders, if these messages are so ridiculous and most (if not all) are easily detected by filtering software and never reach consumers, why do they persist? I guess it has to do with the fact that a small percentage of people actually fall for this type of marketing and end up wasting their money on these useless products. In fact, it must be a large number of people who spend money on Megadik (and all the other herbal shit) or the marketers would have discontinued this practice a long time ago. So, please, if you receive such idiotic emails just ignore them and don’t buy their crap. You are spoiling the Internet for the rest of us. Thank you!

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