Alli diet pill promises weight loss miracle

Posted on June 26, 2007
Filed Under Diet |

Alli diet pillFor a couple of weeks now, there is a new over the counter diet pill available in the U.S. tooted as the miracle diet pill that everyone was waiting for. The diet pill is alli and it is produced by GlaxoSmithKline; did I also mention that it is approved by the FDA? Well, it is so be assured that the pill has passed scrutiny and it is safe to consume. I guess!

So how does alli work? Well, essentially, the pill prevents your body from absorbing the fat in the food you eat. So, the amount of calories from food that your body consumes is reduced. The end result is lower calorie intake and hence automatic weight loss.

Except for a couple of problems one of which is the most hilarious side effect for a drug that I have ever come across.

The first problem is that taking the pill by itself will not have a huge effect on your weight unless it is accompanied by a strict low fat diet. In other words, alli will help you lose weight but it won’t lose the weight for you. Kind of the same way that exercising will help you lose weight but you have to do more than just buying a membership for the local gym keeping your card in your wallet but never stepping a foot in it. And if you don’t believe me, this is what the manufacturer says about the alli diet plan on their own website,

“If you are ready to take responsibility, alli and your hard work can help increase your weight loss by 50%. That means if you could lose 10 pounds with dieting alone, you could lose 15 pounds working with alli…The alli program requires a commitment to healthy eating habits.“

Okay, so we now have established that alli is not a miracle pill that will allow you to live your life on the couch eating potato chips and getting thinner. So, what is alli’s second and rather hilarious problem?

It has to do with one of alli’s side effects. Taking this pill will make you literally shit your pants! And this is not just any kind of shit. It is oil, i.e., the same fat that the pill will not allow your body to absorb will end up coming out your behind. I mean, it has to go somewhere and if it enters your mouth then gravity will make sure it exits from your ass.

The worst thing about shitting oil is that it can happen unexpectedly and there is nothing you can do to avoid it! In fact, the manufacturer cautions alli users,

You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.

And for good measure take a note of the following,

You may not usually get gassy, but it’s a possibility when you take alli. The bathroom is really the best place to go when that happens.

In other words, the benefit from taking this pill is not going to be in its advertised medical abilities to block fat but from its ability to scare the shit out of you from eating fat in the first place. Unless of course you want to live the rest of your life in your bathroom shitting.

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